I’ve gone through this before during my MA, but every time I get to the point of submitting a chapter to my advisor, I feel a massive amount of anxiety. I start to feel physically ill, I get headaches, and I constantly fear that everything that I wrote is going to go directly into the digital garbage can.
As I’ve mentioned before, I do suffer from imposter syndrome, which I feel is more common than many would think. I am always afraid that whatever I write will not be acceptable to people I consider infinitely smarter than me, and that I will be promptly laughed out of town.
Although it is not always as bad as it seems, my brain automatically goes straight to the worst possible scenario due to my anxiety. My initial thoughts are just what I could have done differently, who I could have had proofread it, if I was comfortable enough letting anybody proofread it, and the lingering thought of CAN I ACTUALLY DO THIS?!
The struggle is eternally real for me as a doctoral candidate, and all I really need/want is a lot of affirmation that, yes, little one. You do deserve to be here, and you’re not a huge idiot. You got here on your own merit, and even if the chapters aren’t perfect (They aren’t. They never will be), they’re still good.
Only THEN will I relax. Maybe…?